No Good Reason
by SWaddict1986
Summary: Post SBS. Tahiri's thoughts after Anakin's death. Songfic set to the song No Good Reason by Hate to Have to Go Back. You just might need a tissue.


**A/N: **Thank you to my friend Joe in the band Hate to Have to Go Back, for allowing me to use their song "No Good Reason." The band isn't together any more, but if you really want to hear the song, I MIGHT be able to get their guitarist to put it up or something.

**Disclaimer**: None of this is mine. The song "No Good Reason" belongs to Hate to Have to Go Back. Everything else belongs to George Lucas

* * *

**Look at my heart  
And see my tears  
Look at my eyes  
And see my fears**

I'm so afraid. I'm so afraid that I'm going to have to cope with living without you. I got so used to having you around, and now I lost my best friend. I'm still in shock; I don't think I can cry just yet. Feeling you become one with the Force had to be the worst feeling in my life. My chest is tearing me apart, and now I have to live without you. You were my life, and I don't know how I can live without you.

**Because my heart cries  
And my eyes do bleed  
For this tragedy  
That I have seen.**

Losing a loved one is the worst thing that could happen to someone. And I had just found out you loved me back. Force…my despair is making Riina want to come out. You helped me keep her at bay when you were alive, but now I don't care. You were my world and now my world has been destroyed.

**Now I know  
This is where we go  
The way this world works,  
Well I guess we'll never know**

Why do people die? Better yet, why do people die at a young age? You were barely seventeen and you were fighting for your life so we could get away. I don't understand why the Force had to take you away from us. I'm heading down the same path as Jaina. Maybe this is the path everyone takes when they brutally lose someone they love.

**But the stars have never shined so brightly  
Since you met the sky  
I know you're up there  
Watching us cry.**

Everything is dull now. Nothing is pretty, nothing makes me happy anymore. I constantly look at the stars now, hoping that maybe one will shine more than the others. Then I'll know you're watching over me. You _must_ know how much pain we're in. Why can't you show yourself, Anakin? Why? Obi-Wan and Yoda showed themselves to Luke. Why can't you just come to me and tell me everything is going to be okay?

**I thought this was a dream  
Until I felt the tears run down my face  
I felt all my senses fail  
When I learned we had to say goodbye.**

Oh, gods. My heart couldn't take it anymore. I saw you, motionless, just lying there, and I just broke. I knew then you were truly dead. You weren't coming back. I don't even think the Dark Side could have touched me. Yes, I was in despair, but I couldn't even do anything but sob as I touched your dead face. Dead. That's how I feel inside. I don't even know how I was able to function correctly that day, let alone talk in front of anyone. I felt so numb. Anakin…I didn't even give you a goodbye kiss. I said we'd have time for that later. I'll be regretting that decision for eternity.

**Well now we say goodbye to a son  
Goodbye to a friend  
Goodbye to two lives  
That were starting to begin**

Your parents are devastated. The Order is devastated. People who haven't even met you are devastated. You had such a strong future; you could have been greater than Master Luke. Now who will take over the Order when _he_ dies? And what will happen to me? You were the love of my life, Anakin. We had just started being together, but I know that, if you were still alive, we'd be married shortly after the war. Oh, Force, Anakin, what am I to do? You're the only one I've ever loved. I wish I had told you sooner. I wish we had more time together.

'**Cause you were swallowed up  
In this cold, cruel world  
Well I hope it's warm  
Where you are now.**

No one will ever think of Myrkr again, without thinking of Anakin Solo. What happened to you there is unimaginable. I know you did well, I know you saved many people, but I still wish you had lived. Now, you're one with the Force. You don't have to worry about pain and suffering anymore, you'll never again have to deal with coldhearted people, and you don't have to desperately fight to attempt to stay one step ahead of the Yuuzhan Vong. For that, I'm grateful.

**I thought this was a dream  
Until I felt the tears run down my face  
I felt all my senses fail  
When I learned we had to say goodbye.**

I still cry myself to sleep--not all the time, for I hear Riina in my head criticizing me for "being so weak". She feels like my only companion. I'm almost tempted to let her take complete control of me. I'm starting to have this internal battle going on, and it makes me numb. Not having you here makes me numb too. Anakin, I wish you would show yourself to me, as a Force ghost or in a dream. _Something_. Just as a final goodbye. I know I'd come back to give strength to you.

**Well they say everything happens for a reason.  
They say everything happens for a reason  
They say everything happens for a reason  
But no one ever said-  
It was a good reason  
A good reason  
What am I  
Supposed to believe in?**

Chewbacca died to keep you alive. I can't believe the Force let you die after that. The gods shouldn't have sent that many Yuuzhan Vong after you. Even though you died to keep us safe, I still think you should have lived. I admired you and everything you did. The Force shone in you. For all your fears, there was no doubt in my mind that you wouldn't Turn. You were better than that. I believe you were better than Master Skywalker, and now I feel like I have no one to look up to. Jaina's turned. Jacen's probably dead too. All of the other Jedi are busy facing their own demons and are helping keep the Yuuzhan Vong at bay. As awesome as your parents are, no one can help me now. I'm alone, except for my nightmares.

**There is no good reason  
Good reason  
No one ever said,  
I know…**

Anakin…why did you leave me?


End file.
